Who knew that choosing an excerpt could be so difficult? Not me. Not until I had to select one from my first published story, Holiday Submission, a fairly hardcore BDSM romance. Okay, maybe it turned out to be more than just fairly hardcore. I blushed while rereading it and scanning for anything that looked ‘excerpt worthy.’
I’d heard that as an erotic romance writer I should choose something sexy and graphic for an excerpt. So I did. And that very first, very graphic excerpt was used in my first book trailer. (Please see below, if you like sexy, graphic book trailers :)
Now, as it turns out, I may need another excerpt for Google+ and Twitter posts, etc. So I scanned through the story and the next excerpt I chose was this one:
He knew he would need to go carefully and gauge her response. His sexuality had a savage side he usually kept leashed. Although his previous submissives loved the rough sex, he’d never taken them past their limits. He’d never explored how far he could take a girl.
Caro asked for raw, unharnessed dominance—sexual savagery. Her fantasy and his meshed perfectly, and so far she’d responded well. Although he’d taken her right to the edge of safewording, she stayed wet with pleasure. They had a chemistry he’d never felt with another sub.
He wanted the same thing she did—a complete power exchange.
Okay, I liked this excerpt because it showed the hero’s inner desires and doubts. It also showcased the theme of the story. Remember this is a BDSM romance. “But it’s all narrative,” my writerly voice objected. “You need a balance with some dialog.”
Back to the manuscript I went, and after much scrolling, I chose this part from the heroine’s point of view:
She couldn’t hold still—but then, he didn’t want her to. He wanted to watch her suffer, yearning for him.
Oh, wicked-sexy Dom. The bed dipped when he leaned over and unclipped her cuffs.
“Oh, god.” Her tingling, suddenly unfettered arms dropped to the mattress. Finally, she’d found the perfect diabolical master—harsh and commanding, no apologies. The burning ache in her loins consumed every thought.
Gentle for a moment, he rolled her squirming body over and shifted her to the center of the bed. Once he had her laid out on her back, he pressed her hands up and clipped the cuffs to a chain by her pillow. “Comfortable, little mouse?”
Caro yanked the length of chain and grimaced. “Not completely.” She could bend her arms and touch her face and chest, but nothing below that. Clamping her thighs closed, she tried to assuage the fire between her legs.
“That’s perfect, then.” He grinned like a boy. A lock of his dark hair fell forward when he looked down at her …
Well, this one's a little long, but for now it’s the top contender.
Holiday Submission is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, etc. If you enjoy reading about a loving, but sexually hardcore Dom and his submissive, I hope you'll enjoy it. And please, let me know if there’s a paragraph or two you think would make a better excerpt.
Until next time, happy reading,
And the trailer—I love it—the music, the images, and every word of the text, except one. Yes, it was my word, from my novella (and that word peppers this little book!) but I wondered if it was too much out of context from the story.
Okay, another confession, I wimped out and asked the lovely woman who created the trailer for me if we could change that one word—which she agreed to do. (Thank you, PAK :)
Can you tell which word is the substitution from the original text? :)
Until next time, happy reading and writing,